By Sr. Faustina (Poor Clares Cork)
In my teenage years I drifted away from the Church. I had no understanding of God’s personal love for me. I wanted to break free from all rules which I thought restricted me.
I loved going to Pubs, Clubs, Parties, Rock Concerts and Motorbike Rallies! I lived abroad for a few years and it was while I was living in Amsterdam that I began to think about life’s meaning. I was “free” to do as I wished, yet some thing was missing. Then my father was diagnosed with an incurable disease and my mother needed help caring for him. It was not an easy decision to make as it meant leaving a boyfriend behind, but I knew deep in my heart that it was one that I would never regret.
I was back in the family home so, out of respect for my parents I returned to Mass. Around this time I went to confession for the first time in years, it changed my life forever. I realised God loved me unconditionally and my image of God changed. He was no longer a God of rules but someone who cared deeply about me.
I wondered what God’s plan was for me and did a novena to Our Blessed Mother, to direct me to God’s will. Later I attended a Vocations Weekend the search was now on! I was inspired by a young woman who joined the Poor Clares in Cork and called for a chat. After a live-in with the sisters I made a novena to the Holy Spirit asking God “do you really want me to be a Nun”! I got my answer at Mass when a line from Psalm 37 was read “Commit your life to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act”. I knew then that the Lord wanted me to take a leap in faith and to trust Him to take care of everything. I know now that without Jesus I would never have found true freedom. You need freedom to answer a vocation and true love is only possible when you are free!